Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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