Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
