...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
