Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
