Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
