i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
