i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Please don't give away my fajitas
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
