The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
