there's paper in my vomit.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
