i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think my moral compass just broke
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
