so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
