3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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