Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
