im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
