Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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