We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
