as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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