We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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