I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my sisters under your porch take her home
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
