there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
