And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
soo... how was my night?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
