Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I got inside last night via doggy door
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
