Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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