dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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