apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
