She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
