when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My feet surprised me
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
