Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Is Oprah even human
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
