i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
MIDGETS
????
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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