doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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