I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
