so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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