he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
