It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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