Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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