once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
