census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
