I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
