My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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