I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
