pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
