Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
