i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
