My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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