he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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