You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
