So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
