he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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