Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She's the barista slut.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
