I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
