Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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